Straight Talk

Preface.  I asked myself this… if I had the choice of living 6 months feeling well and strong or living 12 months sick and miserable what would I choose?  July 2004 I was told that I had six months to live if I do nothing medically or 12 months to live if I take chemotherapy.  So what would you do?  For me, I choose the 6 months.  I didn’t want my kids to remember me as a sick, miserable, ugly person.  So I said, goodbye medical doctor, I don’t need you (although I found a wonderful oncologist later).  Given that there are almost no stage 4 breast cancer survivors (it is considered medically incurable), and the doctors I talked to only knew one (and she had been on chemo continuously for 5 years – she seemed a little odd – but happy and optimistic), I decided to look elsewhere.  It was obvious that conventional medicine was not the answer.


So… now that I have outlived my medical prognosis – and doing quite well the whole time – hear me out.  Perhaps someone with estrogen receptive breast cancer can learn something from what I have discovered.  Most people are too scared to do something other than what their doctor has told them to do.  If you are stage 4, ask your doctor how many patients they have like you that are still alive.  If they actually know someone, then talk to that patient – ask her what she did.


What did I do to heal myself? I am writing here chronologically from my own experience.  All of this has come through my own personal experience.  All that I write below comes from the accumulation of my knowledge (in other words – nothing is plagiarized). This is also 'stream of consciousness'; I had wanted to clean it up and make it more of a professional format, but I took Lisa's advice "vomit on paper, then worry about going back and cleaning it up" - so thanks Lisa, otherwise this would be blank.


You are in charge! It is documented that patients that take charge of their healthcare and don't just follow the blind advice of their doctor are more likely to survive.  And remember an old saying - life isn't about how many breaths you take, but about the moments that take your breath away.  So try to get in touch with yourself and decide if you really want to be a survivor and breathe in life.  If you believe you can heal and truly want to heal you will seek out others that have healed.  There are so many fabulous books on healing!  If you are still sitting there drinking your diet coke and in a state of fear and panic, break free from your negative thought patterns and trust that your body knows how to heal itself, you just need to remind it.


Detoxification.  The first thing that needs to be done is a detox.  Look at the whites of your eyes – are they really white or are they yellow?  Yellow is toxicity.  Do you have to wear deodorant?  If you don’t shower for a day or two without deodorant and you smell – that is toxicity.  Any smell coming off your body is toxins.  So start with a detox… even if you’re not toxic, it’s still a good idea to get started on the right path – which is to change your body chemistry.  Fact is - if you have cancer then your body’s chemistry is such right now that it is able to grow tumors.  Did you know that if you put cancer cells into a healthy person that those cells will be attacked by the healthy person’s immune system?  Those cells won’t grow.  I bet that if you put those cancer cells you have now into the body you had say 20 years ago, those malignant cells wouldn’t survive.  Something inside you has changed and in order to heal, you must make some drastic changes.  This will take a lot of work.  I don’t believe in a magic pill, though I do believe in magic. 


Go to a clinic.  Do this preferably before you start chemo or any treatment.  It’s only a couple weeks and it’s very important.  Pick one that feeds you organic fruits and vegetables and lots of juice.  The point here is to change your pH and flush out toxins.  Most likely you are acidic (below 7) and you want to be alkaline (above 7).  When I was in the Gerson clinic I checked in at a 4 and when I left I was at 8.5.  You also want to change your eating habits.  Your diet now should consist mostly of organic juices, fruits and vegetables.  You can really only make drastic changes quickly if someone is teaching you how.  Detoxing while learning how to change the way you eat at home is close to impossible.  Go away – think of it as a healing vacation. 


Clean house. Okay – so you’ve started flushing toxins out and eating right – what next?  Go through everything in your house and throw out all plastics, foam, vinyl, toxic household cleaners, pesticides, poisons, and most cosmetics.  This is extremely important if you have hormone related cancer.  Estrogen mimickers are in all of those products.  If you ask me, I’ll send you a ton of articles on this.  Start in your kitchen.  Keep only stainless steel, glass and ceramic.  Toss everything else.  Use only your oven and stovetop (stainless steel or glass pans) for cooking.  Your juicer is your most used appliance now.  Toss out the microwave.  Toss all the toxic cleaners.  Castille soap, vinegar, borax, and baking soda are really all you need.  You can use products by seventh generation or ecover.  Then move on to the rest of the house.  Foam furniture, furniture with flame retardant on it, anything vinyl, plastic toys – all need to go.  Cosmetics and perfumes are loaded with nasty toxic chemicals.  Basically if you didn’t buy your cosmetics from a reputable health food store, it’s carcinogenic so toss it.  Use essential oils if you want to use a perfume.


Mental.  Now that you’ve cleaned up the toxins out of your life, you should be feeling well enough to deal with some important issues.  Getting toxic emotions out of your mind is imperative.  Of the survivors I have met with difficult cancers, they have one thing in common.  They have all completely changed their mental outlook – they have changed the mental patterns in their brain. 


Fear. Fear is probably the first emotion you experience and some people have a harder time than others.  This is probably the first time you realize your mortality.  Of course we all know we will die sometime, but when the reality sets in that it may happen sooner then we want, it is terrifying.  People who truly believe in heaven aren’t afraid of dying.  For me I believe in a spiritual afterlife – heaven.  So I wasn’t afraid of my own death, I was afraid of what would happen to my family.  My first reaction was that it’s not fair that they should have to grow up without their mother.  Letting go of that fear was hard.  I believed that God had a plan and a reason for everything, but it wasn’t what I wanted for them.  Did you read that “I” part?  Fear and other negative emotions come when “I” want to be in control.  When you trust in the process of life and trust that God will provide then there is no reason to harbor negative emotions like fear.  More on this later.


Anger.  Louise Hay (and many others) believes that cancer is caused by repressed anger or long-term resentment.  I’m not sure I believe that myself, I’ve known people with long-term anger that don’t have cancer.  But then I haven’t met anyone with cancer that doesn’t have anger or resentment, but I haven’t really talked that in-depth with a whole lot of people.  So, like an oncologist would say ‘cancer is multi-faced – it is caused by a multiple of reasons’.  Anger isn’t something that will help in the healing and letting go of it will allow healing, so let go of that anger.  For me, I bought a punching bag.  Actually I started by yelling at my mom.  My “long-term resentment” was at her.  She was great.  She came down and spent several weeks here and wanted to help.  It took me most of that time to be able to get to the point where I could yell at her.  I yelled so loud the neighbors came running!  It was very therapeutic.  I’m not angry at her anymore.  I view her much differently now.  I use my punching bag for other little angers.  Do whatever it takes to let it go – read books, talk to people, throw dishes – I don’t care what – just get it out and let go of it.


Hidden Negative Emotions.  Your body harbors memories of negative experiences.  You need to see an expert to help you with this.  I can tell you names of people in my area, but I don’t know how to look up people in other areas with any talent.  The physicians assistant to my oncologist is my favorite.  My chiropractor, who is an NET practitioner, is also good.  You’d most likely have to find one by word of mouth.  To give you an idea of how this works, I’ll give you an example. 

I was sitting in the chemo room when Chris introduced himself.  He asked me a couple questions and one had to do with my parents. I gave a rehearsed answer about how I grew up with my grandparents.  He asked if I always gave that answer.  I said I hadn’t really thought about it before… I guess I do.  He then asked if I wanted to clear that.  I didn’t quite understand what he meant, but I said sure.  He said most people don’t want to “go there” because it’s too painful.  I said if there is any toxic emotion blocking my healing I want it out.  He said I was braver than most people and proceeded to ask me questions about when I started saying that and what triggered it and brought me to 7th grade outside a movie theatre when some mean 8th grade kids were teasing me about my grandparents.  It was hurtful and I resented them and have been carrying that with me ever since.  Chris helped me to release that.  I didn’t even know it was there, which is why I say you need to see someone trained in this.

An NET practitioner will use kinesiology to test your body to find out at what age you had something happen to you that is trapped.  Another example:

I had a few chiropractors do the kinesiology on me and found that something happened to me at age 20.  I got this same age about 3 or 4 times.  I was raped at 18, so I thought that perhaps it was some residual effect or something.  It was only when I started getting in to my own head that a light turned on and I realized what happened to me at 20.  It really wasn’t that big of a deal in the conventional terms, but when I remembered the incident, I felt anger and I cried for awhile until I carried my emotions all the way through to completion and let go of that resentment. 


You are in control of your emotions.  I suggest reading the Dynamic Laws of Healing.  I gave all my negative emotions to God.  I refused to allow negativity to have power over me.  Remember that you choose your thoughts.  For example if you are filled with fear… if you are fearful of getting your next scan results then throw it up to God.  The worst that can happen is you die and go to heaven.  That’s not so bad.  Or is that you are fearful that it will be better and you will have to keep living?


Visit healers.  I have seen some great healers!  A nurse who does healing touch removed a lump from my abdomen in less than an hour.  Acupuncture, reiki, chiropractic – all great treatments to have performed.  Get as much healing energy as possible.


Chemotherapy.  Before starting chemotherapy detoxify your body.  Prepare it for the assault of harsh chemicals.  Even while you are on it, be sure not to put additional toxins into your body - so just eat whole organic foods.  Stick to the produce section of your local organic stand or store.  I took the oral Xeloda and a lower dose of Taxotere.  They never made me ill.  I could still ride my bike and chase after kids the whole time while on chemotherapy.  Know that the reason most people with early stage cancer get such a heavy chemotherapy drug such as Adryomycin is because it is so harsh on your body that it forces your body to change its chemistry.  It makes you so miserable that you change thought patterns.. you are thankful to be alive after going through that.  Remember that I took a low dose to help the tumors shrink.  I stopped taking it a couple months ago and my tumors are still shrinking.  If you have no tumors in your body then the only reason you are taking it is to change your body's chemistry, which is created by mental patterns.  If you do take it then in addition to eating a healthy diet and not adding additional toxins into your body, take Coenzyme Q10 to protect your heart.  I also suggest taking a small amount of thyroid or adding iodine into your diet.


Other Thoughts on cancer:


What do we know:


1. Cancer is as old as the human race

The oldest description of cancer was discovered in Egypt and dates back to approximately 1600 B.C.


2. Incidence of cancer has increased

Half of all men and one-third of all women in the US will develop cancer during their lifetimes.  Breast cancer incidence in women has increased from one in 20 in 1960 to one in seven today.  85% of women who develop breast cancer have NO known family history of the disease.


3. No cause has ever been found, but there are many theories

The second century Greek physician Galen and Hippocrates both regarded breast cancer to be a side effect of melancholia.


In the 1800's and early 1900's there were several theories for the cause of the disease, including trauma, chronic irritation, viral, and cellular derivations.


Louise Hay, Catherine Ponder and many other authors believe cancer is caused from long time resentment.


A recent study showed data supporting the hypothesis that estrogens and insulin-like growth factor in cow's milk stimulate breast cancer.


Modern theory is that cancer cells develop because of damage to DNA.  Many times a person's DNA becomes damaged from environmental hazards such as benzene, asbestos, hydrocarbons in the air, arsenic in drinking water, radiation, and so on.


4. Doctors are taught that if they aren’t sure what is wrong with the patient, but the patient is nice, then suspect cancer: cancer patients are nice.


5. Effects on mice and in the lab

Mice have gotten cancer from environmental hazards such as benzene, asbestos, etc.  Mice have not gotten cancer from trauma or chronic irritations. 


So what are my thoughts?  Does this hold true for me?  What does this imply?


Because the incidence of cancer is on the rise, some of the cancers must be caused by the damaging effects from our modern environment.  So let’s look at environmental factors for me.  I drank a LOT of milk when I was growing up (all loaded with growth hormones I’m sure).  I was around pesticide sprayed strawberry fields during my puberty years.  I took birth control pills for at least 5 years.  My hair analysis showed extremely high levels of uranium.  I have been around lots of plastics which leach bisphenol-A (a known hormone disruptor).  Because my cancer is estrogen receptive I could simply be the result of hormone damaging environmental factors.  Since my diagnosis I have changed my diet and many things in my house to be more “safe”. 


However, I can’t help but not ignore the non-environmental side of cancer.  I mean, lots of people in this world are as exposed to these carcinogens, but did not develop cancer.  Perhaps I am simply more sensitive.  Or is there a mental side of this?  Discarding recent trends, I am certain that cancer is in some way a disease caused from a negative emotion.  Since cancer has been around as long as human existence with no medical cause, it is clearly a mental cause.  In my case, cancer developed at a time when I was somewhat melancholy about life.  I wouldn’t say depressed, more of an ecclesiastic “life is meaningless” type of thing. I would let things go on without much complaint, but with a deep seated feeling that there is a lack of purpose in human existence.  It’s nothing personal – read Ecclesiastics in the Old Testament to understand.  I believe I got cancer because the environmentally screwed up hormones hit when I was at a negative emotional time. 


Until we as a society spend more research on the mental states of cancer patients, there will never be a cause or cure found.